Remembering the second Sunday of February as World Marriage Day, there are countless courses preparing young couples for marriage. Yet, in the hustle of marriage planning and organization, there are also essential elements to remember before saying, 'I do.'
Fr. Maurizio Botta, from the Congregation of the Oratory of St. Philip Neri helps couples realize that while photos and venue may be important, they can never compare to preparing for the adventure of a lifetime with their best friend.
UNDERSTANDING
He says many couples who arrive at the altar don't know what they are even doing there. They don't understand the sacrament or what is required of them for the rest of their life.
FR. MAURIZIO BOTTA
Congregation Oratory of St. Philip Neri
'So I want the bride and groom to be aware on the day when they hear the various rituals and various liturgy. I want them to already know what will be said and be supremely aware of it.'
He goes so far to say if a marriage course is done “properly,” couples will naturally drop out because of the expectations of sacrificial love set on both people.
FIND THE RIGHT COURSE
From online courses and weekend retreats to psychological compatibility quizzes, finding the right course is important.
FR. MAURIZIO BOTTA
Congregation Oratory of St. Philip Neri
'I believe that every couple should put in a little bit of effort to find where they are thirsty. Where they can find nourishment and can be challenged. It can be a book, an audio message or something on the internet, a catechesis. It can be a particular place, like a monastery. But, in my opinion, every couple should have a place of nourishment once a month.'
Fr. Maurizio says the beginning of any vocation, whether it's religious life or marriage is the most difficult. That's why in his pre-marriage courses, he also continues monthly meetings for the first year of marriage, so that the couples can be reminded of the same truths about love and sacrifice.
ACCEPT DIFFERENCES
Fr. Maurizio says 'many' can't describe how many differences there are between women and men. He insists each gender has a completely different way to rationalize and react.
FR. MAURIZIO BOTTA
Congregation Oratory of St. Philip Neri
“Fundamentally marriage becomes what we can gain from selfishness. There are two main differences that people find. They are just two different worlds. So it is normal that when there are strong anthropological differences, family differences, different habits, and then especially, if I can say, the devil. The devil hates the family and the married couples.”
SCHOOL OF FORGIVENESS
Fr. Maurizio insists that messing up is normal, even yelling in front of one's children, but there is one key element to moving on.
FR. MAURIZIO BOTTA
Congregation Oratory of St. Philip Neri
“In a certain sense marriage is a school of forgiveness. The children learn how to forgive at home, how to get back up after a mistake. After a quick fight, they watch how to move on and start laughing again. This fortifies a person.”
This school is established by the couple, who receives the grace by the Holy Spirit on their wedding day to truly love the other as Christ loves the Church.
