When thinking of the perfect way to pray, many envision a quiet place, kneeling, with hands perfectly folded, but what if it was healthy and even beneficial to be angry and explain every frustration to God?
This is one way Brother Christopher Daniels, from Atlanta, Georgia, prayed as he discerned his calling to the priesthood. He struggled with anger, confusion and the idea of complete surrender before realizing what would make him truly happy.
BR. CHRISTOPHER DANIELS L.C.
Legionaries of Christ
'I was super mad at God because I didn't want to be there. I was like, 'What? I gave you a year of my life as a missionary and what do you do? You send me to the seminary. This is not what I signed up for!' I had this whole idea of I give, you give, you know, God as a Coke machine, but God's not a Coke machine. He's a loving father and He's got a plan.â?
While this plan was terrifying, Br. Christopher began to explore the possibility of becoming a priest by taking baby steps. He started to face his fears, including the thought of losing his current way of life, his girlfriend at the time and his freedom. In fact, he took all of these to God in anger and got even more than just the response he was looking for.
BR. CHRISTOPHER DANIELS L.C.
Legionaries of Christ
'So when you're mad, have it out with God, but wait to hear his response. That's the key. Because a lot of times we're mad and we think we shouldn't be mad with God, but you know, He wants to hear these things.â?
Br. Christopher spent eight days on a silent retreat explaining his frustrations to God. While he was looking for an answer during this time, he never thought it'd come in the form of an overwhelming peace.
BR. CHRISTOPHER DANIELS L.C.
Legionaries of Christ
'I kind of realized I was at peace and that peace was what I had been looking for all along. and I'd been looking for in everything else, other than giving up everything and following Christ. It was that peace of knowing I was loved totally and knowing I could love totally, without worrying about losing that. And that's when I could really say yes, Christ if you want this for me, yes.â?
This peace continues to this day, as he is studying to be a priest in Rome, Italy, and has found immense joy and fulfillment during his studies.
As for his prayer life...there will always be moments of frustration, but in communicating with God, he has achieved a level of peace he never thought possible.
MB
AA/WHY NOT PRIEST
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